Family manager Heinrich looking over his wife’s shoulder while she paints Family manager Heinrich looking over his wife’s shoulder while she paints

“You can only manage this 24-hour job if you completely put your mind to it.”

Heinrich Trummer, family manager for his wife and mother-in-law.

Giving priority to the woman you love over everything else

64-year-old retiree Heinrich Trummer has been caring for his wife, who has multiple sclerosis, for several decades. Without any help from external caregivers, he also cares lovingly for his mother-in-law, who suffers from dementia, and for a lady living in a nursing home. Without any bitterness and with an impressively positive mindset.
Family manager Heinrich shows his wife something on a tablet

Heinrich, how do you balance your numerous caregiving tasks with your other day-to-day responsibilities - and make time for yourself?

In my opinion, you can only manage by making a complete commitment. You have to find it in yourself to care for someone 24/7 without any dismissive attitude.

Humility is very important to me in trying to accept our life together and the challenges it brings. It’s almost a Buddhist mindset. Things are the way they are; this is part of my life and I will just do what needs to be done. I try to find the acceptance in myself I need and to harmonize with it.

Of course, there are difficult moments. I sometimes struggle with being constantly interrupted in what I'm doing. But we talk about things like that openly and look for a solution to each other’s needs. Communication is the key to our relationship. My wife is fully involved and on a par with me in everything. That’s good.

"Sometimes it’s just nice when she just says ‘Thank you’. That she expresses it – although I always feel it."

Can you tell us a bit more about the positive feelings associated with taking care of your wife?

For example, when I do something for or with my wife. It doesn’t matter what it is. And at that moment, she reacts in her wonderful loving way. That’s just beautiful and it melts my heart and I’m on fire for her again. These are such positive moments.

I also love seeing that she can pursue her work as an artist. That’s how I got to know her – as an artist. And that’s how she’s still present for me now. I really like that.

Family manager Heinrich lovingly cares for his wife while enjoying the sun

A heartwarming glimpse into the everyday life of the Trummers

Heinrich knows how difficult it is, even for close acquaintances and friends, to fully comprehend the problems and tasks that come with caring for a loved one around the clock. We accompanied the Trummers for a bit and asked them to give us an - albeit small - insight into their life together.
Asked what is important to him in healthcare products for his wife, Heinrich primarily emphasizes the quality of the products, but also mentions their traceability. It is key for him to understand the strengths and weaknesses of a product or medication. He is also concerned about availability. After all, the things he and his wife need every day must be easy to obtain.